Quote of the Day, August29th, 2007

Patient is admitted for cardiac/renal problems. She is known to be very non-compliant (had a transplanted kidney from a family member that failed because she wouldn't take her meds), and Dr. S has had this pt before. Patient has a history of seizures. At discharge last time, Dr. S prescribed Dilantin (phenytoin), an anti-seizure medication.

Dr. S: "Are you taking your Dilantin?"
Pt: "No, doctor, because I stopped shaking..."
Dr. S: "Who told you to stop taking your Dilantin?"
Pt: "No one doctor, I just stopped"
Dr. S: "You can't just stop taking your medication...especially ones for seizures"
Pt: "But I'm not shaking anymore, doctor..."
Me (in my head): "Yeah, you're not shaking anymore 'cuz you were taking Dilantin!"
Dr. S: "Are you driving?"
Pt: "Yes."
Dr. S: "AMiB, go grab me a DMV reporting form"

So people out there - if you want to stop taking your meds, no matter what kind, PLEASE, for our safety and yours, ASK your doc before doing so!

Quote of the Day, August 23rd, 2007

So there's this Infections Disease doc, Dr. C. The Hospitalists hate the ID guys, cuz they interfere with our antibiotic treatment and blocking discharges of patients who really should be going home. Anyway, I've NEVER seen Dr. C, but I always see her notes in our charts. For a while, I didn't believe she actually existed. Figment of our imagination, I believed. In reality, she rounds late at night, because her notes are always timed no earlier than 2200 (once, she had put 2430 - because they have to see each patient and write a note each day).

Anyway, today I actually met her. She looks up at me and asks me to question I get so many times -

Dr. C: "So, are you a new Hospitalist?"
Me: "No, I'm just a Medical Student"
Dr. C: "Oh...you're awfully big for a medical student"

wtf?!

Quotes of the Day, August 14, 2007

Cardiothoracic Surgeon's NP: "Ugh, I can never get any nurses on that floor to answer their phones!"
Secretary: "What happened?"
NP: "Well this time, I got transferred to another nurse because the nurse I wanted to talk to was stuck in a Code Brown!"
Me: *stupidly looks down at badge, flips through different codes; finds no Code Brown* "What's a Code Brown?"
Dr. A: "Hahaha, you've never heard of a Code Brown?"
Me: "Noo..."
NP: "I'm going to let you figure that one out by yourself."
Me: "ummm....OH!" *face-palm*
NP: "It took you that long? Are you sh*tting me? ;-)"

Quote of the Day, August 6th, 2007

OK, so I went for half a day this morning, but decided to take the rest of today and all of tomorrow off - half for my birthday, half because I've got a bit of pharyngitis going on.

Dr. R - So this patient is on really high doses of prednisone - 100mg daily, and she's been having some hallucinations.
Patient - Yeah, I keep seeing the Pillsbury dough boy...
Me - *tries hardest not to laugh*

-AMiB

QuoteS of the Day, July 23 2007

Dr. R: Have you had a bowel movement yet?
Little old lady, diverticulitis who hasn't had a bowel movement in 4 days: No...and they keep giving me stuff, but it doesn't seem like it's working
Dr. R: OK, we'll try some more lactulose...
LOLdwhhabmi4d: Lactulose?! They've given me so much of that, when I finally go it'll blow up the city!!

-------------------------------

At the rounds meeting, discussing one of the Neurologists who likes to call Infectious Disease consults when they aren't really needed:
Dr. R: Yeah, one time she called me because a patient had a scrotal rash
Dr. A: The question is why is a Neurologist looking at his scrotum?!


So, am back form vacation - was fun, but am now back at the hospital...oh well.

-AMiB

Quote of the Day, July 13th 2007

Went to a Quality Control meeting today with Dr. A, because he was on call today and is the Medical Director of the Hospitalist service. When discussing 30-day mortality from Pneumonia in our hospital:

QA Guy: "[Our Hospital] has the lowest 30-day mortality rate for Pneumonia in the state!"
Everyone: *claps*
Crit. Care Doc/Pulmonologist/Intensivist: "It's obviously over-diagnosis"
Everyone: *laughs*
Intensivist: "We treat heart failure with antibiotics"


Am leaving for vacation tomorrow, will be back in a week or so (as if I weren't behind enough on my RSS feeds already...)

-AMiB

Quote of the Day, July 5th 2007

OK, so I'm gonna try this new thing...it won't be every day, but every time there's something funny...like this :-D

Dr. R: "So, do you take anything for the pain in your leg, like Advil, Tylenol...?"
Little old lady with multiple medical problems (Hx of PE x2, s/p Stents x4, s/p IVC Filter, DVTs, etc): "No, I just take some little stuff...like Vicodin"

Since when did narcotics become so much like candy?! This lady is 83 yrs old, mind you...

-AMiB